Life 2.O

Because good decisions have a better success rate than bad ones....

Posts tagged starting over

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This week’s check-in is my first check-in, and is more of a pre-check in because I haven’t really gotten my schedule ready, and my budget isn’t in place yet. Starting next week, after this upcoming paycheck, it will be. But during this upcoming week, I’ve limited myself to only gas money until payday, so that’s what’s going to have to happen for me to count it as having “stayed on budget.”  I didn’t do so hot this past week, but I’ve been having a little bit of a spending crisis, and want to get my emergency fund of 1,000 set away before I start applying my budget. I need to re-do the board (which is done in permanent marker, but is re-doable thanks to Mr Clean Miracle Pads or whatever they’re called…) so that I can track my meat-free days. It’s hard because I have to eat lunch with my students at work, so I end up eating two lunches at school if I bring my own, because we’re not allowed to eat different food than what they children eat in front of them. The solution is to limit myself to eating only the veggies, fruits, and grains they serve, but that’s hard sometimes because they like to mix the veggies and meat together, and I love my veggies. It’s something I’ll have to work on, and keep better track of. I think I ate some sausage with the cabbage at some point last week.  As I previously mentioned, I didn’t save any money. I spent it. On things I shouldn’t have. So allow me to do a public confession of things I wasted money on, and how I justified it at the time. (As best as I can remember).  I traded my iPad in for an iPhone 4s. Which I love. (I spent no money, as it was an even trade, and my iPad was paid off when I dropped an online course that was of no interest or value to me) I justified it by noting that I’ll be able to be more organized and have my meal planner, calendar, and calorie tracker right on my phone, which is with me at all times, instead of the binder I was using previously and will now use to organize other aspects of my life that don’t really have any benefit in being mobile.. I bought some fabric and Stitch Witchery to make myself a blue plaid infinity scarf, which I didn’t need but wanted so badly because they really make my wardrobe much more versatile. I justified this by figuring that by making my own I was saving money as the total cost was something like 7 bucks, which is cheaper than you’ll find it anywhere else brand new.) I bought some more yarn for crocheting (something else I need to fix on my board. I don’t knit) I have tons of yarn I still haven’t used yet, but I justified this by noting that I hope to open up an Etsy shop in the next week or two where I’ll be able to sell items and donate 30% of the profits to my favorite charities, since I’m too poor to do it on my meager salary, plus it’s a little boost to the income.) Note: I need to get rid of this spend-money-to-make-money mentality…. Listography - Self-discovery through lists…. brought brand new from Barnes and Nobel for close to $20 bucks because I couldn’t wait 2 days for Amazon to ship it to me cheaper. I justified this by reasoning that I really could use a method for figuring out what my priorities are and what I want to dedicate myself to. Up inside my head stuff is a mess. I’m holding off with serious relationships right now until I get myself to a good place, where I know what I’m willing to compromise on, and what I’m not. After dating AO the Libertarian, for the brief period that I did, I’ve realized that there are certain things in my life that I’m not willing to let go of. I want to have a record of that to remind myself so I don’t falter next time I fall for a guy. A few cute green storage bins for my drawer and bedroom, justified by the need to organize and clear the clutter.  Excessive amounts of bean burritos and cheesy nachos at Taco Bell. Justified by my compulsive hunger and love of nacho cheese, which is terrible justification coming from somebody who’s trying to clear the cellulite from the backs of her thighs…. False eyelashes. Ok, I didn’t go all out and blow 70 bucks on eyelashes, but I did go to this adorable little shop that specializes in false lashes that last up to 2 weeks. The place was full of adorable and welcoming black women and reminded me of something you’d see in a Tyler Perry movie, and I like that I felt comfortable being in a shop like that knowing alot of other white girls my age would be uneasy. I loved how they turned out, and bought some of the eyelash glue they used so I can do them to myself from now on, at a much cheaper price. I feel so much prettier and more confident. Was it justified? No. Probably not. But this is the one purchase I made where I don’t care. A one month tanning package. Justified by the fact that I’m so sick of my pasty almost translucent skin, and I want to feel comfortable in the 20 different skirts I wasted money on over the past 6 months while they were on clearance. Also justified by the notion that it’ll give me something to do besides going to the store and spending money.  That list is long enough. It includes the major purchases, and ignores the minor splurges like $2 at the thrift store for some Bed Head curl spray and an order of jumbo nachos at the bowling alley (an outing luckily payed for by my incredibly generous best friend). I did manage to get alot of reading done throughout the week, and also exercised a little bit, though not as much as I should have. Still, this is a work on progress and I know I’m not going to be an expert at this organized life stuff right away.  I suppose the last thing to consider is This Week’s Goal:__________________ I want there to be something a little extra to strive for each week since there’s alot of little goals I have that probably aren’t best tackled all at once. I’m thinking either waking up at 7:30 and starting the day by reading the news and eating a nutritious breakfast, or not adding salt to any of my food. I’d love to hear your thoughts. And if you have a Tumbler about changing your life in any way, please let me know. I’m curious to read other people’s ideas, inspiration, and progress, and goodness knows we’ll all be more successful when we have other people rooting us on and holding us accountable. Best, Rex

This week’s check-in is my first check-in, and is more of a pre-check in because I haven’t really gotten my schedule ready, and my budget isn’t in place yet. Starting next week, after this upcoming paycheck, it will be. But during this upcoming week, I’ve limited myself to only gas money until payday, so that’s what’s going to have to happen for me to count it as having “stayed on budget.” 

I didn’t do so hot this past week, but I’ve been having a little bit of a spending crisis, and want to get my emergency fund of 1,000 set away before I start applying my budget. I need to re-do the board (which is done in permanent marker, but is re-doable thanks to Mr Clean Miracle Pads or whatever they’re called…) so that I can track my meat-free days. It’s hard because I have to eat lunch with my students at work, so I end up eating two lunches at school if I bring my own, because we’re not allowed to eat different food than what they children eat in front of them. The solution is to limit myself to eating only the veggies, fruits, and grains they serve, but that’s hard sometimes because they like to mix the veggies and meat together, and I love my veggies. It’s something I’ll have to work on, and keep better track of. I think I ate some sausage with the cabbage at some point last week. 

As I previously mentioned, I didn’t save any money. I spent it. On things I shouldn’t have. So allow me to do a public confession of things I wasted money on, and how I justified it at the time. (As best as I can remember). 

I traded my iPad in for an iPhone 4s. Which I love. (I spent no money, as it was an even trade, and my iPad was paid off when I dropped an online course that was of no interest or value to me) I justified it by noting that I’ll be able to be more organized and have my meal planner, calendar, and calorie tracker right on my phone, which is with me at all times, instead of the binder I was using previously and will now use to organize other aspects of my life that don’t really have any benefit in being mobile..

I bought some fabric and Stitch Witchery to make myself a blue plaid infinity scarf, which I didn’t need but wanted so badly because they really make my wardrobe much more versatile. I justified this by figuring that by making my own I was saving money as the total cost was something like 7 bucks, which is cheaper than you’ll find it anywhere else brand new.)

I bought some more yarn for crocheting (something else I need to fix on my board. I don’t knit) I have tons of yarn I still haven’t used yet, but I justified this by noting that I hope to open up an Etsy shop in the next week or two where I’ll be able to sell items and donate 30% of the profits to my favorite charities, since I’m too poor to do it on my meager salary, plus it’s a little boost to the income.) Note: I need to get rid of this spend-money-to-make-money mentality….

Listography - Self-discovery through lists…. brought brand new from Barnes and Nobel for close to $20 bucks because I couldn’t wait 2 days for Amazon to ship it to me cheaper. I justified this by reasoning that I really could use a method for figuring out what my priorities are and what I want to dedicate myself to. Up inside my head stuff is a mess. I’m holding off with serious relationships right now until I get myself to a good place, where I know what I’m willing to compromise on, and what I’m not. After dating AO the Libertarian, for the brief period that I did, I’ve realized that there are certain things in my life that I’m not willing to let go of. I want to have a record of that to remind myself so I don’t falter next time I fall for a guy.

A few cute green storage bins for my drawer and bedroom, justified by the need to organize and clear the clutter. 

Excessive amounts of bean burritos and cheesy nachos at Taco Bell. Justified by my compulsive hunger and love of nacho cheese, which is terrible justification coming from somebody who’s trying to clear the cellulite from the backs of her thighs….

False eyelashes. Ok, I didn’t go all out and blow 70 bucks on eyelashes, but I did go to this adorable little shop that specializes in false lashes that last up to 2 weeks. The place was full of adorable and welcoming black women and reminded me of something you’d see in a Tyler Perry movie, and I like that I felt comfortable being in a shop like that knowing alot of other white girls my age would be uneasy. I loved how they turned out, and bought some of the eyelash glue they used so I can do them to myself from now on, at a much cheaper price. I feel so much prettier and more confident. Was it justified? No. Probably not. But this is the one purchase I made where I don’t care.

A one month tanning package. Justified by the fact that I’m so sick of my pasty almost translucent skin, and I want to feel comfortable in the 20 different skirts I wasted money on over the past 6 months while they were on clearance. Also justified by the notion that it’ll give me something to do besides going to the store and spending money. 

That list is long enough. It includes the major purchases, and ignores the minor splurges like $2 at the thrift store for some Bed Head curl spray and an order of jumbo nachos at the bowling alley (an outing luckily payed for by my incredibly generous best friend).

I did manage to get alot of reading done throughout the week, and also exercised a little bit, though not as much as I should have. Still, this is a work on progress and I know I’m not going to be an expert at this organized life stuff right away. 

I suppose the last thing to consider is This Week’s Goal:__________________

I want there to be something a little extra to strive for each week since there’s alot of little goals I have that probably aren’t best tackled all at once. I’m thinking either waking up at 7:30 and starting the day by reading the news and eating a nutritious breakfast, or not adding salt to any of my food. I’d love to hear your thoughts. And if you have a Tumbler about changing your life in any way, please let me know. I’m curious to read other people’s ideas, inspiration, and progress, and goodness knows we’ll all be more successful when we have other people rooting us on and holding us accountable.

Best,

Rex

Filed under check-in life changing growing refresh fresh start starting over exercise goals accomplishments failures progress

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Clearing the clutter…

I have so much crap.

 Like, tons, people. Really.

To the point that I’m not sure if I’m trying to be a million people (and cater to each of their many whims) all at once, or if I’m just so terrible at deciding what aspect of myself to showcase on any given day that I need to be prepared for any possible outcome. Or I just really have a serious addiction to consumption. But that would imply that what I purchase actually gets used. And that is definitely not the case.

I have cameras that I only use rarely now, oil paints that are still sealed in their box, and jewelry notions and projects that I sell to raise money for charity, but also to fund my spending habits, which border on that of a 14 year old with full and uninhibited access to Daddy Warbuck’s credit card.

Spending money makes me feel happy because it makes me feel like I’m improving some aspect of my life, which is why I’ve invested even more money into a personal journal which I intend to use to fully investigate and define who I truly am and where my priorities actually lie. Because let’s be honest, six different perfumes, a bonsai tree, and an iPhone say very little about me outside of I am an impulse buyer easily swayed by a desire to create the( false) impression that I lead an intellectual lifestyle; which is either totally inaccurate or embarrassingly dead on.

I used to be an artist. I wasn’t an awe-inspiring aesthetic prodigy by any means, but I had the soul of a wanderer and a talent for finding the beauty in things. In white ink braille, hardly noticeable, I have tattooed on my wrist the word “happiness” as a symbol for the saying “Happiness writes white.” Which is to say, when things are going well I write for nobody but me. But my connection and communication with other people has always been through the formation of words on pages, and I’ve never had much desire to write solely for myself. It’s not that I’ve wanted recognition, but I’ve wanted to open more of a dialogue than what currently exists about pretty much every intellectual topic ever. I have no desire to write white, and so I’ve never had much desire to seek out pretty and perfect things. The drama and lunacy of politics has always appealed to me, as has the wrecked shells of abandoned schoolhouses and  the empty rooms in vacant, decrepit homes. But in establishing myself as a functioning member of society with hopes of a career and family in the future (such stereotypical dreams) I fell prey to the rest of society’s norms.. Overspending, fashion, sex. I see other girls who survived the transition and they are beautiful. They sit at typewriters with ice tea in mason jars, and run wild with messy hair„ glow so real in their portraits, and speak in poetry. And I fight with who I’ve become, and how that should have been me. That still is me, under the make-up and diets and receipts. Under all this clutter, I know I’ve got that glow too.

But fuck. I have SO. MUCH. CRAP.

Maybe it’s time to throw some of my recklessness into the Goodwill bin…. 

Perhaps this weekend. Somebody remind me.

Filed under clutter spending money fashion overdoing it consumption selfishness beauty art fresh starting over